How to Catch a Mentor

Mentors and leprechauns have a few things in common. There’s some amount of luck involved in finding them, and they can bring great prosperity. Arguably, they’re best consulted over beer.

But today, we’re going to dispel a few myths about mentors, because it shouldn’t require the luck of the Irish to get a little guidance on your epic journey.

Myth 1: There’s a “right” way to find a mentor.

I have been collecting mentors for at least 20 years. Several have been teachers or supervisors, and a few outlasted that particular semester or job. Others have been peers – people I’ve connected with who have inspired me in some way, prompting me to say aloud (in a way that were be awkward if I cared about being awkward): “You’re awesome. I’m going to keep you.” Some of my mentors might not even realize that they are my mentors because we are also friends, while others exist in a more formal space, either because of their role (a current manager, for instance) or because of personality and chemistry, and that’s great, too. One of my mentors actually selected me for the door-opening internship that has expanded my world and changed my life, and our relationship has evolved into a hybrid of true mentorship/guidance and friendship. Frankly, I think being an “elder intern” with kids and lots of experiences behind me helped with this process. It may be unconventional to categorize so many types of relationships in my life as “mentorship”, but I genuinely feel that I can learn from many different types of people, occupying all different roles.

Myth 2: Mentors are for life.

Many, if not most, relationships occur during a chapter or two. Few last the whole novel. That’s perfectly ok. We need different advice, guidance, and support for different seasons in our lives. We can appreciate and respect what someone contributed to a chapter without clinging to a relationship that no longer serves us. I think it’s best to embrace the fluidity of life and be okay with people entering and exiting the scene as needed.

Myth 3: Your mentor always knows what’s right for you.

Your mentor is a source of support and guidance, but they are not you. Only you can decide what is best for you. Your mentor should serve as an advisor, whose opinion (along with that of your family and friends) can be weighed and considered as a part of a well-rounded decision-making process, but should never entirely replace your own intuition.

Myth 4: You only need one.

I can’t even imagine what I’d do with just one mentor – but as I said, I collect mentors, and most of them don’t know they’ve been caught and counted in my collection 😉 Different people will understand different facets of your personality and life. This is not a numbers game – it’s about quality, not quantity – but it really helps to have guides with expertise on specific areas of your life and career, so they can relate and provide the kind of nuanced and tailored advice that really makes a difference.

Myth 5: Your mentor should be older than you.

Alright, buckle up, y’all. We’ve already established that mentors can be peers. Mentors can be leaders. Mentors can be unsuspecting individuals who spark curiosity and inspire and inform without even knowing they are doing it. Mentorship can be formal or informal, short-lived or long-term. Lastly, mentors do not need to be older than you, or ahead of you on your career path. This is a newer concept, and remember you heard it first here: You should have at least one mentor who’s younger than you. The further along you are in your career, the more true this becomes. You need to be challenged to consider how younger people are thinking; to view the world from another angle; to approach problems differently; to communicate and collaborate in new ways. In my experience (and this is a major generalization) older mentors help us understand what is, and younger mentors help us think about what can be. So, round it out and go get you a younger mentor.

Myth 6: Mentorship is a one-way thing.

Nope. It certainly doesn’t have to be. I think that great mentoring relationships can be bidirectional and fluid – these are the ones that usually grow into beautiful friendships. And you can never have too many beautiful friendships.

This community is all about mentorship and support, so get out there, seek the people who are bright lights in your life, and be that same thing for someone else.